We'll get him back…I promise
by Venka le fay
Summary: April's thought regarding the aftermath of Mutation Situation. DonO'Neil paring. Warning: Some of you may want to have a tissue ready.


** We'll get him back…I promise.**

Set directly after Mutation Situation. If you haven't seen that episode yet, prepare for spoilers. I don't own Ninja Turtles and never will. If I did I wouldn't be writing fanfics, now would I.

I refused to hear Donnie calling out my name in anguish as I rushed away from them. I refused the urge to look back, to turn and see those…those beasts who rescued my father weeks ago… just to cause this.

The heart shattering look Donnie gave me when I told him that I didn't want him to touch me or see any of their faces again. Those gentle burgundy eyes generally so full of trust and sincerity, watching them cloud over with grief as he reached out to comfort me and shatter with unshed tears as I screamed that I never wanted to see any of them again. They continued to haunt me. I wanted him to feel pain; I wanted the four of them to feel the pain I felt. They had told me that he would be safe. They lied, my father wasn't safe…he was a victim of the Kraang's mutagen and now was a hideously deformed monster. With no cure that was practically a death sentence.

Tears fell unhindered down my face as I kept running. If I could, I would run away from this city, far away from Foot Clan…far from the Kraang… far from the Turtles. No matter where I turned there was always something that reminded me of them from fights and battles with the Foot and the Kraang to simply moments where I would hang out with them as friends.

I felt my mind drift to Splinter as my running slowed to a jog, then a quiet walk and I stopped completely. The wise rat was associated with "them"…he was their father. But could I hate him alongside them, after all he had been training me to be a Kunoichi. And even though my real father was imprisoned by the Kraang, in many ways Splinter had felt like a second father to me. He could never replace my true father, but he could be a substitute. Much like he thought of me as a substitute for his own daughter tragically lost to him so long ago.

_"Miwa would have been your age now. I would like to think she would have turned out as well as you have…my child." _Splinter's words filled my mind. No doubt the turtles would have explained what had happened. But accident or no, that didn't excuse the fact I was for all intents and purposes an orphan.

"April?" I heard a voice behind me. Turning I saw Irma, one of my closest friends at school. Clutched in her hands was a plastic bag with the logo of an independent book seller that she liked to frequent. Probably containing another one of those trashy romance novels she liked reading. Behind her horn rimmed glasses, her brown eyes regarded me with concern. "Are you alright? Did something happen?"

"Something…terrible happened to my father…" I choked out glad to find someone to who I could turn to…someone who wasn't associated with "them". She brought one hand to her mouth in shock at my words.

"Was it those same men who abducted him before?" Irma asked. I had informed her about my father being abducted by the Kraang. Though I took great pains to hide the fact my father was actually abducted by a bunch of brain shaped aliens. And to a degree I had told her about the Turtles, though I had actually painted them as four reclusive brothers who were home schooled by their equally reclusive widower father. This had however brought something like Twilight to her mind because she immediately asked if they sparkle in sunlight or were vampiric in any way. I had rolled my eyes and just simply told her that while they weren't what one would call usual, but they weren't vampires, werewolves, or any sort fantastical monster or creature she might find in the books she reads.

"Yes and no." I answered. "Part of it had to do with them…but."

"Hang on, why don't we go to Starbucks, you and tell me all about it over a cup of coffee." She answered as she pulled me along. "My treat...You like their green tea right." The thought of tea reminded me of Splinter. The various moments where he would sit and talk with me over a cup of tea while his sons were out in the city dealing with whatever plots the Foot or Kraang were hatching.

"I'd feel better having a cup of hot chocolate." I answered, though that also painfully reminded me of my father. After my mother died or whenever I was down my father would make hot chocolate for me to help make me feel better.

Irma and continued to walk together down the street as we headed to the coffee shop. I admitted I preferred the smaller independent coffee shops compared to the larger chains. But I wasn't in the mood to complain at the moment. Walking into the small coffee shop, I found a seat in secluded corner while Irma ordered for the two of us. Five minutes later the dark haired girl was sitting with me, a pumpkin latte for her and hot chocolate for me, she also had gotten a couple of croissants for the two of us.

"So tell me April," She said as she blew on her latte to cool it. "What exactly happened with your father?'

"He was…in an accident." April answered. "He was protecting me from a chemical that was being brought into the city and got hit instead."

"Is he in the hospital? Is he…" Irma asked in concern. I knew she didn't want to bring up the word dead because she didn't know how sensitive I was.

"No…" I answered softly as I picked at the flaky crust of my croissant roll. "He's still alive…but he's not the man he once was, and I don't think he ever will be again."

"You said something about the people who abducted him were a part of this?" Irma asked.

"They were involved in it yes. They were the ones shipping that chemical into the city." I answered bitterly while unconsciously tearing apart the croissant roll in my hands. I was visualizing it was one of those Kraang squids. I wanted them to pay for invading Earth, pay for creating the mutagen, the same mutagen that made my father into the hideous freak he is now as well as the same mutagen that created "them".

"And what about you're other friends…these mysterious brothers I keep hearing so much about?" Irma asked as she eyed me.

"What about them?!" I nearly shouted causing several patrons to look in my direction.

"I was wondering if they also know about what happened to your father." Irma stated. "You said one of them had promised to help you find him when he was first abducted." My mind wandered back to the night the Turtles had saved me from the Kraang.

* * *

_"April I promise you we will not rest until we find him." Donnie had firmly said. His burgundy brown eyes conveying that meant every word he said. _

_"We won't?" Raph asked as if no one had consulted him about this. Leo nudged his brother's elbow in response._

_"No! We won't." The blue banded turtle firmly stated._

_"Thank you, but it's not your fight." I responded as I looked down at my hands which were resting on my knees. Donnie placed one of his large three fingered hands on mine which covered both of my hands and knees. _

_"Yes, it is." Donnie stated with conviction. I could do nothing but smile at him appreciatively. The gigantic turtle blushed and smiled awkward at me before climbing to the roof. He paused and looking down towards me he have me small smile and waved good-bye. I smiled and waved back feeling like my life had taken a turn for the weird, but yet somehow felt right. _

* * *

"April?" I heard Irma ask. I blinked finding the other girl staring at me. It took me a moment to register where I was. In my hands were the shredded remains of a croissant roll.

"Sorry." I said as I picked up my hot chocolate and finding it was more lukewarm then hot.

"Thank goodness," Irma sighed in relief. "You seemed to zone out, you had me worried. Now back to my question, I had been asking if your mysterious guy friends knew about what happened to your father. You seemed to rely on them a lot when he had been abducted before."

This was my chance; I had no plans on seeing them again. I could actually tell someone what they actually were. I could tell Irma that my mysterious reclusive so called friends were a family of mutant turtles who lived under the streets of the city. But I couldn't do that. When I had become their friend I had promised to them and to their master that I would never reveal them or the location of their lair to anyone. My father had also made that same vow out of gratitude to them and to Splinter for keeping me safe during the months he had been imprisoned. I never wanted to see them again because they were responsible for the hell they had just inflicted on this city and my father's mutation. But it also was their duty protect this city from all that threated it, be it the Purple Dragons, crazed ninja hell bent on vengeance, rampaging mutations, or alien brains that wanted to terraform the planet to suit their needs.

"Yeah, they know what happened." I sighed with angry huff. "They're the ones that caused it. I was so mad when they informed me that they were responsible I told them I never wanted to see them ever again." I felt an ache in my chest as if I had just made a horrible mistake. It was an accident after all, it's not like they had intended my dad to be mutated. But still I couldn't forgive them for it either.

Irma closed her eyes in contemplation as she quietly nibbled on her croissant. Finally opening them she looked at me, her eyes not accusing but understanding.

"Would you like me to tell you what I think?" She asked. I sighed uncomfortably, but nodded. "I don't think you are wrong, but I don't believe they intended on causing harm to your father."

"It was accidental yes." I sighed not as angry as before, just overwhelmed. My mother was dead, my father was a feral minded creature, and I was alone.

"You have every right to be upset." Irma stated. "If I had been either of my parents or both, I would have told the people who cause it that never wanted to see them ever again. However when I am able to calm down and be rational, I would hope that I could appreciate the fact they were honest and admitted their responsibility for the event rather than learning about it later through someone else."

"How is this going to help me get my dad back?" I demanded. "I do appreciate their honesty, but now I have to live every day knowing I more than likely do not have a father anymore."

"And they have to live every day of theirs knowing they lost you as a friend," Irma pointed out. "That they have cost you the only family you have, and that nothing they say or do will be able to will fix the damaged they have caused.

"I just wish I knew what I should do about all this…." I sighed.

"Why don't I ask my folks if I can stay at your place tonight?" Irma said. "Give the situation a few days to settle. Perhaps you can figure out what you should do about them and about your life at this point."

"Thanks Irma." I smiled appreciatively. The two of us heading on our way, as I walked down the street I half expected to see four shadows following me overhead. I also paused by the entrance to their lair that I normally used, contemplating the excuse that I was only showing up to talk to Splinter. But I shook my head and continued on my way. I have to put all that behind me behind me now, no more Turtles, no more Splinter, no more training as a Kunoichi. Finally arriving at my apartment I reached into back pocket for my house keys when my hand felt something large and disproportionately round. Pulling it out I found it was the T-Phone Donnie had given me after I lost my cell phone. I paused a moment and looked at the device, calling them technically wouldn't be seeing them right. Strangely it felt kind of lonely knowing I would never have my second family to turn to any more…but this way it had to be. Holding the device up I firmly said "T-phone self-destruct." There was a short crackling noise before the smoke rose from the blackened screen of the smart phone. Sighing though my nose I tossed the device into the trash bin and made my way into my apartment. This apartment had never felt so lonely before. It's always been quiet, and there have been times where I have been here alone for days when my father went to phycology conventions in other parts of the country. And of course his abduction, but at least then I knew he'd come back. This time…I wasn't so sure.

I make a mental note to contact my aunt, but I was reluctant about doing to. My aunt was nice enough and I never caused her any problems. However my visits to the turtles or going out in the dead of night to "visit" friends made her suspicious about what I was really doing. And sometimes when one of the Turtles dropped by to talk, she had knocked on my door to tell me that she had heard a male voice and wanted to know who I was talking to. I'd normally quickly excuse it as Skyping with one of my class mates. But I don't always know if she bought it.

Rooting through the linen closet pulled out a couple of sheets and blankets and started setting up a place on the couch. Not for Irma, but for myself. I didn't want to be near the windows or anywhere of the Turtles could appear. Needing pillows I grabbed a couple of the pillows from my father's bed hugging them close as I breathed in the scent of my father's shampoo.

Suddenly I heard a soft tap on my window. I knew it had to have been them. Maybe it was Donnie trying to implore with an empty promise of finding a cure to return my father to being a human. I didn't want to hear it. It took him months to find and rescue my father, but that was okay because I knew that his rescue was at least possible. To restore someone who has been mutated…that was impossible. It could take years, maybe lifetimes before a cure could be found if at all.

I walked to my bed room window and opened it, looking about me I saw nothing that looked like a gigantic turtle. That didn't surprise me, they were trained ninja if anything they were close but not completely visible. That's when my eyes landed on two of them standing on a roof three building's down. Close enough for them to see me, but far enough for them not to hear me. I could tell by the height alone that one of them was Donnie. However his shoulders were slumped as if defeated. His face sadly turned away from me, I could even see slight shiver run through his skinny frame as if he's fighting something in himself. I wanted to believe it all to be just an act, but my heart told me it wasn't. A slightly smaller turtle stood beside and slightly behind Donnie. I recognized this as Leo. The blue masked turtle's attention wasn't on me though; it was entirely on his brother. Placing a hand on Donnie's shoulder, Leo seemed to softly say something before wrapping one arm around his younger brother's shell and leading him away. I sat down on my bed and looked down on the floor from the window as memories and conversations filled my mind.

_"Thank you, but it's not your fight." _

_"Yes, it is."_

_"April, we'll get him back…I promise."_

Why did my heart feel like it was breaking? If I had cut off all ties to the Turtles, if I had refused to help them in this last mission my father would still be human. But why did exiling myself away from them…hurt worse than losing my father had? Maybe because with them I felt I had an actual family. There was still much I had wanted to learn about them. I had wanted to go on living with them as a family, training in Ninjitsu alongside them. And as much as I wanted my father returned and the Kraang defeated, I also knew that would mean my life living with the Turtles was at an end.

Placing a hand on the window sill I found myself touching something paperish. Glancing down I noticed a paper crane was under my hand. I knew this had to be a message from one of the Turtles.

I was reluctant to read it for fear that Donnie might be trying to sell me on his empty promises seeing as this was the only form of communication he could possibly reach me with. But part of me wondered if it was a good bye from Splinter or a collective farewell from all of them. My curiosity won me over as I unfolded the paper bird and opened the paper.

I didn't read the note however. The moment I noted Donnie's hand writing I knew he was trying to convince me he could do the impossible. And parts of it almost seemed illegible with some letters and words appearing blotchy and smeared. Folding the letter again I got up and prepared to drop the note into the trash, however a knock on the door prevented me from doing that. Sighing I placed the note on living room table and opened the door to welcome Irma.

"Sorry for being so late, I stopped buy the movie rental and picked up a few videos to help take your mind of your father and those boys." Irma said. Much like her taste in books, Irma had a similar taste in movies.

"I'm not in the mood for Wuthering Heights or anything from Jane Austen right now." I answered.

"I didn't get any of that…well actually I did get the Jane Austen Book Club." Irma answered pulling out a blue ray case from her overnight bag. "I also got Sleepless in Seattle, Bridget Jones Diary, 27 Dresses."

"I'm sorry Irma," I sighed. "I'm just not in the mood for a movie right now."

"Okay," Irma says in disappointment when her eyes land on the note I had placed on the table. "Hey what's this?"

"Just a note one of the Hamato Brothers left for me." I answered. "I haven't read it, nor do I want to."

"Mind if I read it then?" Irma asked. I paused slightly, should I let her read it? I didn't want her to see anything that could break the trust the Turtles have with me as far as keeping them secret. I was going to protest, but when I turned I could see her reading the note.

"Which one is Donnie?" Irma asked.

"The second youngest one..." I answered her with a sigh. I closed my eyes no matter what I did I could see Donnie trying to reach out to me only to shrink back as if I had just slapped him across the face. "He used to have a silly crush on me."

"He was crying when he wrote this." Irma said. I opened my eyes in shock…Donnie crying? I was going to ask how she knew that, but then I realized…I knew already… the areas of the note that had been blotchy and smeared. In my mind's eye I could see him hunched over the desk in his lab, penning down this small note as tears silently cascaded down his face staining his words.

"Dear April," Irma read aloud. "There is no apology that I could give that would make up for what my brothers and I have caused. But please know…I'm sorry…I'm so very sorry for what we have done to you and your father. I wish I could guarantee a way to return your father to the brilliant and kindhearted man he used to be, but I will do everything within my ability to at least try. I can only pray that in time, you can find it in your heart to forgive us.-Donnie." Irma handed the note back to me so I can read it for myself. With every word I could feel the anguish, the shame, the sorrow he must be feeling, as echoes of tonight's events swirled in my mind.

* * *

_"I swear… by Darwin's beard we will cure him!" Donnie desperately said a sob hitching in his voice as he spoke. _

_"YOU MUTATED MY FATHER!" I screamed back at him. I was so angry with them I couldn't think straight. Mikey had just informed me that they were the reason that my father was a hideous freak. When were they planning on telling me this? Were they planning on telling me at all? And worst of all, Mikey actually sounded proud they did it. My father…the only family I felt truly had left in this world. The kindhearted man who had been held captive by a race of alien brains and forcibly subjected to all sorts of torture, for nearly a year. The father who had finally been returned to me weeks ago and now was the creature locked in the cage behind me. _

_Behind me, my dad screeched echoing the rage I felt as he burst out of cage and angrily flew at the Turtles. I screamed in fright as my father turned and lunged at me. It was possible he was just trying to grab me and fly me far away from the Turtles. And he probably would have had Donnie not jumped into the air and struck my father in the face with his bo staff. The part of my brain that was still rational knew he had done that to protect me…but seeing him using his own weapon to hurt my father…that felt like the last straw. _

_"Dad!" I cried out as my father flew out of the warehouse and into the night. Angry tears filled my eyes as I glared at the Turtles. I had thought I could trust them…I thought they were my friends. Each of them lowered their heads sorrowfully; there was nothing any of them could say at this moment to make me feel anything ire towards them. Donnie held his hand out to me and started to try and say something to console me. But I didn't want to hear it; I didn't want any empty promises about how he was going to find a cure to restore my father's humanity. He knew as well as I did there wasn't a cure for those who have been mutated. It could take weeks, years, possibly lifetimes before it was possible to restore someone who had been mutated._

_"Don't!" I angrily cut him off. His body went rigid with shock before he shrank away from me and pulled his hand back as if burned. "Don't touch me! You keep away from me! I never…want to see your faces EVER AGAIN!" The look in his eyes as his heart was broken into pieces looked as though he had wanted to tuck into this shell and never come out for the rest of his life. But I didn't care at that moment as I whirled around and raced out of the warehouse and as far away from them as I could._

* * *

_ "_Hello, Earth to April O'Neil." Irma said calling me out of my mind.

"Sorry," I answered.

"It's okay," Irma answered. "You've been through a lot tonight. Why don't we just get some sleep and maybe you'll feel more yourself in the morning."

"Right…" I said. "Would you mind taking my room for the night?"

"Uh…sure." Irma answered somewhat confused by this, but she didn't argue as she went into my room and shut the door. "Good night...I guess."

I calmly prepared for bed, taking long hot shower and slipping into my PJ's. Coming out of the bathroom I sat down on the bed and reread Donnie's final words to me. I can barely recall the exact number of times he'd been there for me. How many times had he been there when I needed comfort or someone to talk to? How many times had he saved me from danger? How many times had showed more concerned for my wellbeing instead of his own? How many times had he given me that shy gap toothed smile that made feel special and appreciated no matter what mood I was in? It felt like there was never a point when he wasn't around. And even the times he wasn't I could still feel his gentle presence close by.

_"April, we'll get him back…I promise." _

I could still feel his strong and caring arms around me before he looked me in the eyes and said those words. As upset as I had been then, I knew in my heart he meant every word.

_"April, we'll get him back…I promise."_

The words still echoed in my mind as I lay down to sleep. Feeling for the first time in my life…completely alone.


End file.
